Fear

I am scared of the most simplest things

Asking someone to spend time with me
Hanging out with someone new
Saying hello
Starting a new conversation
Telling someone I like them
Saying the wrong things especially in the wrong time.
Giving people gifts
Complimenting someone based on their looks


Most of all I am scared of rejections

What I want is what I will achieve

I'm bored
because I have done so many things yet so little in this year.
I want to go outside but you see I have hindered myself. My own ability to run is still free but I have no way to drive myself around.
I want to explore new areas, and meet new people.
I would love to go to church and learn about their ways.
Play basketball and get all sweaty while having fun.
Throw birthday parties with people, jump on a trampoline and watch a basketball game.
Play ping pong till my hands are tired.

I'm bored because I sit at home staring in a computer screen that I have sucked dry.
I want to communicate outside of this screen and give a reason to talk to others.
I want to smile because I made someone else laugh for a reason.

I am bored with this daily routine I had poorly made for myself. I envy others that have such busy schedules, whom have no time to spent sleeping or eating whenever they like. I envy the ones that are stressed and full of daily activities.

Strange equations

Why do these mean people look at me so?
Am I funny looking?
Do I have something in my hair?
Why do they laugh at me, giggling?
What is it that makes me different or funny...
Well it is not

Laughing... should only occur during something funny
This situation does not seem to be in my calculations
Error
Impossible
Cannot compute
Re-enter the possible variables
I don't understand my society, the people and the people that have grown up.
I only understand what people are not what they pretend to be.
I can't understand these numbers on pages
I flip the pages back and forth but they do not run nor are compatible with my brain.
These people have me confused
they tease, abuse their friends
but when they leave
that's when they cry, claw back for their friends
Why?
I do not understand
What is this world?
Where have the correct, simple answers gone?
Society is lost, so where is the found?

Life ain't hard

Life ain't hard
I just make it so
When a question has such an simple answer
I go and take the high road
Instead of taking the shortcut
I walk the long way
I don't know why
Guess that's just how I choose my paths
The more complicated route
is the one I decide to pick
Crazy thoughts creep in and out
Laughing can hide many and express less
Smiles are saved for moments or fake meanings
Life ain't hard
I just make it so

Foolish

Deep in the soul
I just want to scream
I just want to fall to the floor
begging, like a child again.
Crying, laughing hysterically
With eyes on me
Center of attention
So
Tell me
Where are your eyes looking at?

Just a glimpse from an oak tree

The soft breeze catches the girl’s chestnut like hair to flow along the soft blue sky, causing the boy to linger in this image of her.  She takes her slender fingers and curls her hair over and over, tilting her head towards his direction. Her eyes, melted with each glance he took. And her delightful smile evokes a hidden blush to emerge from his tanned cheeks. He pulls away for a moment, taking all of the day’s memories into count. Then returns with the confidence he needs to say what he had on his mind. The boy and the girl begin speaking softly, the focus angles away... only to show their back and their sound of quiet bliss. The glint of the shaded leaves fall to his eyes, the girl slowly closes in on those eyes with a curious examination. Quickly, she hides her face embarrassed. For a split second it seemed the boy was drawn towards her face. The boy ashamed lets nature work its magic. The roughed and free spirited oak tree provides a welcoming environment.  And with the right lighting, matched with the music from birds chirping, to the chattering insects creates the perfect harmony of love. 

May 3rd :D

hehehe I was so happy today >.<

I should stop looking on the negative sides of life, so what if he isn't talking to me?
I am so happy I have such a good friends that care.
I will never stop smiling, because I have to be good enough to stay with you.
Ew not stay with you but more of a keep up with you.
You seem so strong especially to me, I keep leaning on you.
I hate it because I want to be independent. You help keep me strong but also make me weak.
I'm scared that you don't want me around, but today with a simple action you make me realize that isn't the case at all. I need to keep being me and be strong to achieve my goals.

Thank you!!! :)